Why Refusing to Video Call Is the Single Strongest Warning Sign
In an era when nearly every smartphone has a front-facing camera and free video calling apps are universally available, there is almost no legitimate reason for someone in an online relationship to consistently refuse video calls. According to consumer complaint data analyzed by the Federal Trade Commission, the inability or unwillingness to appear on a live video call is present in the overwhelming majority of reported romance scam cases (FTC Consumer Protection Data Spotlight, 2023).
The reason is straightforward: the person you are communicating with does not look like their photos. They may be a different age, a different gender, or part of a scam operation where multiple people rotate through the same account. A live, extended video call is the single most effective way to verify that someone is who they claim to be, and scammers know this.
The 7 Red Flags
Red Flag 1: The Camera Is Always "Broken"
The most common excuse is a perpetually broken camera. Variations include a cracked screen that only affects the front camera, a phone that overheats when the camera is on, or a laptop without a webcam. In 2026, virtually every phone sold in the past decade has a working camera. If someone claims their camera has been broken for weeks or months without replacement, this is not a technical problem. It is avoidance.
Real example from FTC complaints: A consumer reported a seven-month relationship with someone who claimed to be an engineer working in Malaysia. The person said their laptop camera was broken and their phone's front camera was damaged in a fall. When the victim offered to buy them a new phone, the person declined, saying packages could not be delivered to their location. The victim eventually lost $45,000.
Red Flag 2: Excuses Tied to Work or Location
Scammers who impersonate military personnel, oil rig workers, overseas doctors, or construction contractors in remote locations claim their work environment restricts video calling. These claims are nearly always false. Military service members have access to video calling through USO and MWR facilities. Oil rigs and remote work sites have satellite internet. If someone claims their entire profession prevents video calls, verify this claim independently.
Red Flag 3: They Only Send Pre-Recorded Videos
Some scammers send short pre-recorded video clips to create the illusion of a video call without actually appearing live. These clips are typically 5-15 seconds long, show the person waving or saying hello, and are filmed in consistent lighting.
How to distinguish live from recorded: Ask them to hold up a specific number of fingers, write a word on paper and show it to the camera, or touch their ear. These requests cannot be fulfilled by a pre-recorded video.
Red Flag 4: Brief, Controlled Video Calls That Feel Off
With the rise of AI deepfake technology, some scammers now conduct very short video calls using face-swapping software. The call may last 30 seconds to two minutes, occur in dim lighting, and the person may avoid turning their head or moving naturally.
AI deepfake warning signs during video calls:
- The call is always extremely brief (under 2 minutes)
- Lighting is consistently dark or washed out
- The person avoids turning their head to the side
- Facial expressions seem slightly delayed or unnatural
- Audio and lip movements are slightly out of sync
- They refuse to hold objects near their face
Red Flag 5: They Get Angry or Guilt-Trip When You Ask
A genuine person who cares about your comfort will understand your need for a video call. A scammer will respond with emotional manipulation: sadness, anger, accusations of distrust, or withdrawal. Phrases like "if you really loved me, you would trust me" are scripted deflection techniques.
The FBI has noted that emotional manipulation escalates when the victim pushes for verification. Scammers are trained to redirect conversations away from identity verification and toward emotional commitment (FBI IC3 Annual Report, 2023).
Red Flag 6: Their Photos Do Not Match Any Real Person You Can Find
If someone will not video call and their photos appear on multiple websites under different names, you are almost certainly dealing with stolen images.
How to do a reverse image search:
- Save or screenshot one of their photos to your device
- Go to images.google.com or tineye.com
- Click the camera icon (Google) or the upload button (TinEye)
- Upload the saved photo
- Review where else the image appears online
If the same face shows up on stock photo sites or social media accounts with different names, the photos are stolen. This test takes less than two minutes.
Red Flag 7: Voice Messages Sound Perfect but Live Calls Never Happen
AI voice cloning technology can now generate realistic voice messages from a few seconds of sample audio. Scammers can obtain voice samples from public social media posts or news interviews.
How to spot cloned voice messages:
- They send voice messages but refuse to talk live
- Voice notes always sound clean with no background noise
- The tone and pace are unnaturally consistent
- They cannot sustain a natural phone conversation beyond scripted topics
Request a live, unscripted phone call of at least 10 minutes. Voice cloning cannot sustain an extended, natural two-way conversation.
What to Do If You Recognize These Red Flags
If you have not sent money:
- Stop the conversation temporarily
- Perform a reverse image search on their photos
- Talk to a friend, family member, or the AARP Fraud Helpline (1-877-908-3360)
- Set a firm boundary: a live video call of at least 10 minutes before the relationship continues
- If they refuse, discontinue contact
If you have already sent money:
- Stop sending additional money immediately
- Contact your bank or financial institution
- File a report with the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov
- File a complaint with the FBI IC3 at ic3.gov
- Save all messages, photos, and transaction records
- Call the AARP Fraud Helpline (1-877-908-3360)
The Verification Test
Before continuing any online relationship where doubt exists:
- Request a live video call at a time you choose
- Ask them to hold up a random number of fingers
- Ask them to slowly turn their head left, then right
- Ask them to hold a piece of paper with today's date near their face
- Continue the call for at least 10 minutes with normal conversation
If they pass all five steps naturally, that is a positive sign. If they refuse any step, treat it as confirmation of deception.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it rude to insist on a video call with someone I met online?
No. Requesting a video call is a basic safety measure that any genuine person will understand. Anyone who makes you feel guilty for asking is prioritizing their deception over your safety.
Can scammers fake a video call with AI?
Yes. Deepfake technology has advanced to where brief calls can be fabricated. However, the technology struggles with extended calls, spontaneous movements, and holding objects near the face. The verification test above is designed to expose AI-generated video.
What if they video called me once but refuse to do it again?
A single brief call does not verify an ongoing identity. Scammers may use a one-time deepfake call. Consistent willingness to appear on camera over time is what matters.
My online partner sends voice notes. Does that prove they are real?
No. AI voice cloning can generate convincing voice messages. Only a live, extended, two-way conversation provides meaningful verification.
How common are romance scams involving refusal to video call?
According to FTC data, refusal to video call is cited in the vast majority of romance scam complaints. The FBI IC3 identifies it as one of the primary indicators in its public advisories (FBI IC3 PSA, 2023).
If you are uncertain about someone you met online, take the free Are They Real? Scam Risk Test. It is a private, five-minute quiz that evaluates your situation against known scam patterns. Your answers never leave your device.